"Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come, Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav'n and home?" These lyrics from an old gospel hymn resonated with my heart Monday morning. Waking early, I took my cup of coffee to the porch and looked out over the still darkened lake, with the tip of Mt. Pilchuck covered by clouds in the distance. The early morning weather matched my mood...a little dark, a little discouraged.
My thoughts turned to several heavy things on my horizon right now...lack of sustaining work for my builder husband, lack of answers to prayer for loved ones, feelings of failure...discouragement. Several years ago at a Women's Retreat, our speaker Babbie Mason, shared that the Devil just loves "D" words...Discouragement, Despair, Despondent, Defeated, Depressed, Deserted...you get the picture. So, what do you do when your spirit sinks low? I grabbed my Bible and turned to my favorite lamenter, David. He so ably to put into words what my heart was feeling, as he cried out in Psalm 13, "How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?...Look on me and answer, Lord my God, Give light to my eyes..." Don't you just love David? He was so authentic in his cry to the Lord. He then goes on to say, "But I trust in your unfailing love...I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me." As he prays, David finds his way back to the truths he knows about God's character...his love and goodness.
And as so often happens, an old hymn came to mind..."What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear, What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer. Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pains we bear, All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer." I am so thankful that I grew up in a church and a family that cherished hymns and many are locked in to my memory.
As I sat there, the verses from Matthew 11:28-30 popped in my head, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
As the morning sun began to rise and bring light to the day, the words of the Psalm, the Hymn, the Verses, and finally the initial Song, His Eye is on the Sparrow, lifted my spirits and I was able to face the day, knowing His eye is on me and He hears my prayers, even when I don't see immediate answers. I love these words by Jerry Sittser, a man acquainted with heartbreak and grief,
"True faith is like a light that begins to flicker, however faintly, in the darkness of an experience that beckons us to pray even when we can hardly find the faith to pray."
Though I do love the traditional version of the old gospel hymn, His Eye is on the Sparrow, I also love a newer version of it sung by Audrey Assad. I'll close by sharing this with you. Until next time, Gracia